FeatherQuilt1988

I have an exciting announcement, which I've been trying to save until relatively the last minute--my mother and I are going back to Italy for a week or so this next month!! Those of you who've been around my gallery for a long time might remember we got to go with a group in 2016. I very briefly got to see my friend at the airport then. But this time, we're actually going to get to stay with her and her family, which is amazing! (And also will mean we're getting to see a part of Italy we didn't before--the 2016 group trip flew in at Milan, but then went towards the middle and upper south, to Florence, Pisa, Assisi, and Rome. Whereas now, we will be remaining in the north relatively near Milan, and hopefully seeing Turin, Genoa, and some smaller towns.) I was hesitant to say anything too early, because unfortunately, we had been planning this trip last October, and it had to be cancelled because of my mother's post-concussion syndrome. But now, she is recovered enough to travel, and we have been getting so excited again.

Anyways, in short, I know I typically update my DA gallery once a month lately, but I may be absent this March, with all the preparations and then recovery time. I'll be sure to have a ton of photos and stories to share with everybody once my next update comes, though! Take care! 👋

When I was a wee tot, about thirty years ago now, my mother would play a cassette tape of the Tijuana Brass (an old instrumental band) a lot when we drove around town. Last week, I ripped the CD we had of that same album to add to my music library.

And... I remembered EVERY NOTE. It felt like it electrified my brain when I played the first track. I haven't listened to or even THOUGHT of those tracks for what must be at least two-and-a-half, probably three decades, yet I found I was still predicting EVERY BEAT as I listened!

...Has something like this ever happened to any of you reading this? Is the connection between music and memory so powerful? Dang, it's mysterious, and a little beautiful to think!

(I put this message in the photos I posted today, too, because it seems like my journals aren't getting much traffic anymore.) I'm sorry I don't have anything drawn this time, everyone. It was a very stressful September for me this year, and I didn't find enough energy to be as creative as normal. My mother hit her head on the door of her shed outside, and developed post-concussion syndrome. I'm still in the middle of a bad flare of my fibromyalgia pain and thyroid issues, due to both worrying about her, and having to take over some of her normal errands/chores/etc. while she goes through the very slow recovery process over the next months. Thank you all so much for your patience!

This September, I'm turning 35--wow. Not only am I feeling a lot older, I've also noticed it was my 10-year anniversary here on DA, a few months ago. I hope this doesn't sound pretentious... but looking back, I'm trying to think of what all I've learned in this past decade, from 2013 to 2023... and I thought, why not share it? I'm certainly not the wisest person my age, let alone older... but I do feel some things have gotten easier with time, and it's just always nice to share thoughts with kindred spirits, or to maybe help someone out there. So without further ado, here are some things I think I didn't really know, back at age 24-25, and do now, thanks to life experiences both here on DA and offline.

Anyways, dear reader, whether you scroll through all this or not, I hope you have a wonderful week. I'll be having some cake and ice cream meanwhile! 😊

01. Shame (whether you direct it towards yourself or others) is useless for trying to change a bad habit or thought pattern. In fact, shame will usually "trap" the habit/thought on repeat, making it worse. Replacing the habit/thought with a different, positive one is the more effective way to shrink it. Examples: Instead of thinking "I must stop losing my temper with that person," train yourself to instead think of a kind, warm thought towards that person, the next time you encounter them. Or instead of thinking "I must punish myself if I don't accomplish *insert thing here* every day," keep some stickers beside your calendar, and reward yourself with one each time you accomplish that thing! Etc. etc.

02. Even when some people drift away from your life, their friendship wasn't useless or meaningless. I believe very much in a quote by J. R. R. Tolkien, about friendships on Earth being revisited in Heaven, later on. And even before that, and/or for a secular addition, I've seen a lot of posts folks have made, about the people in our lives "leaving little pieces of themselves in us." It's honestly so true. There are little turns of phrase, favorite books, etc. that I have, that have come from friends I haven't heard from in years, now... and though at first that thought is painful, after a while, it becomes warm. As do the memories of interactions with them. A good thing happened, and that good thing is still valid and still "keeps" inside us! Time is only distance, in a way--like how, if you drove a thousand miles away from a statue, that statue would still exist, and be just as beautiful. And you can look back at your photographs of the statue and smile. If that makes sense?...

03. Somewhat on that note--cherish your memories and write them down. Whether they have to do with friends, family, or just your own private experiences. Journaling is work, I know, and sometimes I go for months without writing something down, then suddenly am writing nearly twenty entries in a single month--I don't have a set schedule, but I reach for it when something happens that I just want to preserve. Whether it's a cute thing the dog did, something uplifting my mother told me, or something really beautiful I saw in the park or even in a video game I was playing. Sometimes I flip back through my journal, and I have a collection of happy and beautiful thoughts to revisit, and they help remind me that the world isn't always bad. When I write about things on my mind, both positive and negative, this also helps me track my own growth, yet also the ways I've stayed the same. There is something truly helpful and heartening, in discovering that I'm growing, yet ALSO AM STILL THE SAME PERSON, after all these years! I don't know how else to explain it, but I'd encourage it for anybody. Journaling helps preserve good things AND helps you know yourself better!

04. It's (usually) okay to ask for help at work. Admittedly, I've been blessed with a good boss and coworkers, but it's still something I've had to teach myself--that I shouldn't be a terrified little mouse when asking about something I don't quite understand. Another tip would be, do say what you've already done about the problem (it makes you seem more competent/responsible already). For instance, when I had a file I was supposed to fax to a doctor outside of the hospital I (remotely) work for, and I couldn't find his fax number anywhere, I emailed my boss something along the lines of, "Dr. NameHere isn't in our computer system, and when I checked, OtherHospital's website only listed a phone number for him, not a fax. I also asked Ms. InsertCoworker, and she didn't know Dr. NameHere's fax either. What should I do?" (The answer, I learned, was to call the aforementioned phone number, and ask THEM for the fax number.) I didn't get in trouble for asking, and I didn't look incompetent by shirking the task either. Again, disclaimer, I am lucky enough to work in a nice environment--but still, I've gotten the impression a lot of other workplaces would be the same way about it (so long as you aren't asking the SAME thing over and OVER again).

05. Always incorporate a few tactile, non-electronic diversions into your day--ESPECIALLY if your job is already electronic-based and/or you are largely home-bound, like me. I hope I'm not sounding like a "boomer" here, and also note that I'm NOT saying "technology is evil, put away your phone/laptop, blah blah blah"--trust me, I STILL probably spend 90% of my free time watching/writing/playing stuff, either on my laptop or my Nintendo Switch. BUT, when I realized just how MUCH of my entire existence was becoming glued to a screen, I decided I had to at least do a couple of "non-screen" things per day--going for a walk outside, reading something with physical pages, building a puzzle, drawing on paper, using a coloring book, etc. Having these small activities somehow helps me feel "grounded"--and I honestly think this "grounding" will become even MORE important as the years progress, in the ultra-digital world we're living in now. We have to keep our bodies and our brains connected, if that makes sense... so do be sure you touch some objects BESIDES just a keypad/touchscreen, your chair/bed, your clothes, your plates of food, housecleaning stuff, and the floor daily.

06. Perhaps related, if you are emotionally attached to a story/franchise/fandom, GET IT IN BOOK FORM, somehow. The looming death of personal media ownership (what with streaming services now becoming the norm and sometimes even the exclusive) is honestly really worrying, because the shows, music, and e-books you love can be deleted from servers in the blink of an eye (and frequently are, when contracts run out and so forth). And meanwhile, even physical DVDs, game cartridges, etc. are dependent upon their specific type of console to keep running. (When was the last time you saw a VCR, or a Gameboy Color? Not to be a "Debbie Downer," but DVD players, CD players, Nintendo Switches, and PlayStations will almost certainly be no different in the future. Heck, CD players in particular are already becoming rare NOW!) So in short, a physical book is the one surefire way to keep a story you love in your hands. (Sheet music, I guess, for music meanwhile, if you play an instrument.) Of course not all TV shows and video games have "novelizations"--but they often do at least have spinoff comics, artbooks, etc., and those are at least something. (And, hey, your own printed-off fanfiction is also great to keep, if you're in the habit of writing it!) So, in short, if you're scared you'll miss a fandom as the years go by, try and get a small piece of it sandwiched between hardcovers somehow. (Some examples from my own bookshelf: the ATLA artbook, cookbook, and an adorable chibi comic; the BOTW artbook; the Star Trek visual dictionary; the Redwall novels and cookbook; etc.)

07. Blocking on social media doesn't have to be a bitter/spiteful thing--it CAN simply be about comfort zones. I've done this more often on Pinterest than on DA, admittedly, but it probably applies anywhere. Of course there's "a time and a place for everything," and you shouldn't be rude to anyone you meet, online or offline. But most of us spend our time online for fun and to communicate with friends. It's OKAY to block that one blog that posts nothing but negativity and spite, if you feel it is starting to depress you (even if its spite isn't aimed at you personally). It's OKAY to block that stranger you've never talked to, but who seems to hate every single character you love, and whose posts ranting about them make you feel so defensive. Yes, we can't run from problems/conflicts all the time--but most of us probably get enough of that offline already. It's OKAY to go online for fun, and to use the block feature to curate your browsing experience. (AND to keep away ACTUAL toxic users meanwhile, of course, by all means!)

08. If you can't seem to get past something, write out your reasons. This one is a bit different from #03, because this isn't about preserving primarily good memories, but rather about wrestling with the subjects that really upset you--getting them out of your system, and ultimately achieving some clarity about them. In my case, this was about a spiritual concern, but this advice about "writing it out" ABSOLUTELY can be used for secular concerns as well! Anyways, I wrestled with the classic "question of evil," and after a lot of arduous journaling (and reading a couple of books about the subject, which I then recorded my own thoughts about), I arrived at the personal conclusion that bad things (WHEN they are absolutely unavoidable, and all that can humanly be done to prevent them HAS been done) happen to shape our souls, to "hollow out" places to be filled more fully, whether in the afterlife or in this life. Like how my own chronic pain makes me appreciate a soft bed more. It meanwhile makes me furious whenever I see supposed religious people claiming God instead allows suffering "to punish people" or "to test their loyalty for His pleasure"--and this journaling I did for myself really helped me formulate my own arguments against those people better. It gave me a lot of stability, both spiritually and emotionally. Anyways, long story short, even if you're not a religious/spiritual person like me, the same principle of "writing what you're struggling with" can help you "untangle" stuff in your mind--upsetting memories, self-doubt, etc.--and from there, possibly even find some closure. I've seen lots of secular, psychology-related posts advising the same--and, at least in my case, I can certainly vouch that it worked.

09. Listen to calming music or ambiences before bed, if you can, and meditate/imagine yourself in a beautiful, tranquil place to match them. This seems to help me feel a bit better and more rested, so it may help others too. Here are some channels I use for this purpose, if you would like to try them too: https://www.youtube.com/@YellowBrickCinema/videos , https://www.youtube.com/@ChettaMonster/videos , https://www.youtube.com/@fantaisiaambience/videos

10. Give your family (or whoever you are closest to) plenty of hugs, little gifts you know they'd like, and words of encouragement and love. Now, I've known THIS one ever since childhood, so I it's not really "something I've learned in the past ten years!" But, it feels like the world is getting more and more starved for affection, in some ways... so it's more important than ever to remember. It's good to share kindness with strangers, but it's even more important to share kindness with the people you're around every day.

11. I certainly hope none of this sounded pretentious (and I know I used the word "I/me" enough for a month), and one shouldn't hand out advice without listening to it, too... so on that note, what have YOU learned in the last ten years (wherever in life YOU happen to be this September)? Let me know in the comments, if you want to share! ❤️

Forgiveness is a topic that's been on my mind lately--not because of anything happening in my own personal life right now, but just because it has been addressed in a lot of my fandoms, and also because it seems to be getting a bad rep on the internet lately. I think the latter is largely because many people are confusing the related-but-not-identical concepts of forgiveness and reconciliation--reconciliation means reconnecting with a person and allowing them back in your life (which is obviously not always safe to do in certain situations/with certain people), while forgiveness just on its OWN doesn't. Some of these features indeed do deal with the complete "forgiveness-and-reconciliation" package, while some deal with forgiveness alone--and I won't elaborate further than that, since I don't want to stamp my own ideas over another artist's work. But anyways, I just thought these would all be nice to share.

(I haven't watched this one particular movie, but this struck me as so beautiful regardless)